I Want To Get Punched

For some time now I’ve wanted to know what it’s like to be punched in the face. I’m weird I know.  I don’t know where this obsession comes from; maybe from all the MMA I watch. It might be from when I was in middle school. I was living in MN and my school offered a skiing trip. I was told there was even a disabled skiing program so I went. All the way there I had visions of what it would be like. I imagined myself speeding down steep hills in some hybrid sled/snowmobile like contraption, doing jumps and flips and lots of other gravity defying acts. When I finally got there I learned that the program was no more than a sled with a rope attached to it that an employee held onto. Sweet! So we went up the ski lift the first time, that was quite scary. We get to the top and make our way down. It was no big deal, I enjoyed it. We go up again and start our way down. Everything seemed normal, but I was going fast…real fast and I could tell the dude holding the rope wasn’t doing well. I closed my eyes. From behind I heard ‘Oh shit’ and a thump. Everything was calm…then suddenly three very hard hits to my face and I’m motionless. I still don’t quite know exactly how it happened but I hit something (someone?) and flipped upside down or something, but I hit my face three times, smashed the goggles I was wearing and had a big black eye a little while later. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and I always likened it to getting punched in the face.

It could also be from HS. I had just gotten my new wheelchair and was speeding down the hall while not wearing my seat belt. I hit a doorway and fell out. I was knocked out cold. I always found that pretty intriguing.

But for whatever reason I want to get punched. I’ve even tried to make it happen.

One night a few months ago a buddy and I went out to a bar. We were at the booth watching some skanks play darts, my buddy started egging them on and we ended up making a bet that if one of them got a bulls eye I’d buy her and her friend a drink. Something like an hour later (it may have actually been minutes, I was pretty drunk) one of them hits a bullseye. I tell her I’ll buy her and her friend a drink in exchange for a kiss on the cheek (god damn do I have game). She gets pissed off and walks away. Whatever. I forgot about it. A while later some wigger comes up to me and asks me why I didn’t buy his friend a drink, with real attitude. Drunk James doesn’t like this and starts lying, saying the girls are making the whole thing up, blah blah blah… He’s saying he’s known her for years she wouldn’t do that, etc… Then brilliance struck me! I said “Do you think I’m an asshole?” He said yes so I told him to come down to my level and say it to my face. He does and I try to head butt him. He pulled away and walked out. I was hoping I’d connect and he’d punch me.

That’s how sick my obsession with getting punched is, I tried to start a bar fight with no fucking arms! One day it’ll happen for me though.

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