I’m Deep Or Something
August 15, 2008
So if you read my last post you’ll remember that I was having some computer problems. Well, I couldn’t fix them, and had to format my computer, install a fresh copy of linux. Now I know what went wrong, and how to avoid it in the future. It was a pain in the ass, but I’m over it. I was angry for a little while that I couldn’t make it work, but that anger is gone now.
Now I have my music back.
As I was sitting here listening to music I started thinking, which as you may know isn’t always a good thing. Tonight though is different. There’s a certain someone from my past. The relationship with that person is broken, and it can’t be fixed. I’ve been angry that I can’t fix this, and that it just can’t be made to work again. I’ve been angry for something like a year and a half about this. I haven’t seen, spoken or been involved in her life in the same amount of time (except for a few angry drunk texts from me which I’m pretty ashamed of).
I realized after my ordeal last night (yes, I know I’m a nerd) that I don’t need to be angry anymore. I can look back at the mistakes that were made so I don’t make them again, but it’s time to move forward.
Once I realized this it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders (I <3 cheesy clichés!). I’m not angry anymore. I can finally move forward without looking back. This metaphor worked a little better before I put words to it, but I think it still works.
I’m certain she has no idea this blog exists, but just in case she ever comes across it…I wish you all the best in your life. Thank you for the good times, thank you for getting me to open up. Thank you for making me smile so much. I’m sorry for the mistakes I made and I forgive you for the mistakes you made. I hope you achieve every dream you ever have. Goodbye.
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1.
Jojoface | August 19, 2008 at 3:17 am
*hug*
just seems like you need it.