Thanksgiving 08

I don’t really like Thanksgiving. I’m not a big turkey fan, and it’s just too close to Christmas. We don’t need two major holidays in one month. I try to make the most of it though, and be a team player since I know lots of people do like Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving like most, I spent with my mother. My mother lives in the same city as me, and we live pretty close to each other. Even though we live so close, I usually go stay with her for a night or two on holidays that we’re in the same city for. This Thanksgiving was no different. It’s usually just me, her roommate, and her. This year however, were joined by my grandmother from New York, and her sister, my second aunt. I love them all, and I usually like spending time with them. The only thing I don’t like about it is that when I’m at her house, I have no access to a computer, Internet, or TV shows that I want to watch. I feel cut off from my world. It usually doesn’t bother me that much because I enjoy the time I’m spending with my family and my favorite bar is right down the street from her house.

This year was a little different…

As usual, I left my apartment in the afternoon the day before Thanksgiving and hopped a bus to get to her side of town. It had been raining on and off all day but thankfully stopped long enough for me to get there. As soon as I arrived I could feel the tension in the air, but everyone had their happy face on so I tried to ignore it. I said my hellos, got my obligatory hugs and kisses from grandma and settled in, still not knowing where the tension was coming from. I figured it out very quickly though. Every time I mother’s roommate was out of earshot, my grandmother started badmouthing her. I found her criticisms to be quite silly; for instance, she was upset the roommate had decided to bake her delicious homemade bread at around 4 PM, as this was supposedly dinnertime (we eat much later). This went on all evening, friendly in front of her, talking shit when she walked away. I ignored it, ate some dinner, and headed out my favorite bar. I haven’t been there in quite some time, and ran into quite a few people I haven’t seen in a while. It was great. I haven’t had alcohol in months, so I only had 4 pints but was quite drunk by the time I left. I got back to my mother’s place at about 1 AM and she was still awake which is very rare for her. So we sat outside and talked for a little while. She told me what I had already known, my grandmother hates her roommate. But there was more. Apparently my grandmother had been quite negative the entire trip (she’s already been in town for almost a month). She was talking shit about everyone, getting in the way, making messes (she somehow broke my mother’s coffeepot while I was there) etc. and she was driving my mother crazy. There was nothing I could do, so I laid my drunk ass down and went to sleep, knowing that tomorrow I would not be going to the bar and would have to deal with all this sober.

I woke up about 10:30 AM Thanksgiving day. Thankfully I was not hung over, and with the sweet smell of turkey roasting in the oven I thought maybe it would be a better day. Seriously, how can you be in a bad mood with all that good smelling food in the air? That tension was still in the air though, and did not get any better throughout the day. Thanksgiving dinner came and went without any real issues, it was quite delicious. My mother hasn’t done a traditional Thanksgiving dinner in a while since she and I and her roommate are not huge fans of turkey, but as I said it was quite good. After dinner my mother informed me that she was going to be driving my aunt home, I guess she had enough as well. My mother asked her roommate to go with her to help her stay awake on the way home. When my grandmother found this out she was infuriated and talked shit the entire time they were gone. As soon as my aunt got dropped off, she called my grandmother, and my grandmother bitched for about half an hour until my mother got home. When she got home my grandmother just exploded on them. She was letting obscenities fly, called the roommate a bitch and told my mother she was going to be going home early. My mother tried to defend herself but looked pretty stunned and started crying after a minute. This broke my heart; she had worked so hard to have a good Thanksgiving dinner with her mother and instead got stress and tears. She recovered pretty quickly and seemed fine for the rest of the night but didn’t talk about the fight with me at all. I have to give her roommate credit, because she could’ve just ignored my grandmother for the rest of the trip, or just in civil to her when necessary but she still tried to make conversation was quite friendly with her, which is more than I would have done in her position.

Today (Friday) was calmer, but that tension still hung in the air. I was grateful to come home. After I got home, mother and her mother had to stop by and drop off a few things that I couldn’t carry with me on my wheelchair and my grandmother was still making snide remarks under breath. Apparently she’s going to return the rental car she paid for tomorrow, and use that money to buy an early plane ticket home. I know it’s tough for my mom to see the trip and this way, but I have no doubt she’s quite relieved. She’s had enough; you could see it in her eyes and her face, and you could hear in her voice. Before I left she asked me if I would be joining her for Christmas, and made it quite clear that grandmother would not be there
On Thanksgiving three years ago I made my mother cry and I still feel terrible about it to this day. Although I was quite sad to see her crying last night, the selfish part of me thinks “at least it wasn’t me this time”… I’m a good son

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